back down kid. you ain't ready for this.

I've got your f**king failslip RIGHT HERE.

K, anecdote of the week.

Last Wednesday was IPPT day. The last thing someone said to me before that was "Good luck!" LUCK?! Pah, I said, luck's got nothing to do with it. Ready as I'll ever be. Never had I been more wrong (except for that time on Ophir when I was teasing someone about the total lack of leeches, then came plodding down 2 days later a leech pincushion.)

So having cleared the 4 static stations, we unsuspecting victims moved on to the treadmill for our 2.4 run. Yes, I use the treadmill for my IPPTs. Cue preferred excuse 1) I can't pace myself on the track these days 2) I'll die in the haze etc. Anyway after running for some 1.6km, the treadmill suddenly jerks to a halt -holy crap did I accidentally press the STOP button?!- I look around to find that the entire gym's been hit by a blackout, accompanied by a loud/tired chorus of SHIT/FUCK LAR/CHAOCHEEBYE!

The PTI, who's obviously been caught off guard, runs off to check on the power, and comes back sheepishly saying "ehhehheh, err sorry but I haven't got much choice here. Why don't you guys take a rest for about 30 minutes, and then try the run all over again? Alternatively you could go home and register for a whole retest another day." Now naturally, having come all the way to the gym just for the silly test, we weren't going to just pack up and go home (not happily at least). 30 minutes later, everything was up and running 2.4km again.

So there I was, staring at the reflection of the gym in the window -when you're running on the spot for 10 minutes, you tend to run out of things to look at really soon- counting down the time left to the end of the run... 10 minutes... 9... 7... halfway there (again!)...
and then.

SHIT/FUCK LAR/CHAOCHEEBYE (x10)!!

K, by this point, we'd already begun contemplating navigating our 3rd 2.4 run attempt, having already effectively run a total of 2.6km. What follows are excerpts of the conversation that follows between us gym monkeys and the PTI dude.

PTI dude: "OK that's it, I'm closing the gym for today. I can't let this go on anymore. I hope you all don't mind (that this was a totally wasted trip) but I'll requre you all to go home and register for a new test all over again."

Gym monkey A: "Er ok, but could we at least null the results?"
PTID: *checks with the admin private* "Er we think so. Except the computer can't seem to record it. So we'll just pass you a results slip saying that you failed ok? Then show it to us next time and we'll know what to do."

Gym monkey B (me!): "Would it be possible if you let those who still wanna run do it one more time? I don't really want to bother with coming back again, and it'll only take up 10 minutes of one of your PTI's time."
PTID: "Ahh... no. It may jeopardise your safety! And I can't let that happen." Er thanks.

Gym monkey C: "OK fine this sucks, but could we at least have our $2 gym deposit refunded?"
PTID: *checks with admin private* "Ah er. No. Cos it's already in the system you see. But er, show us your fail slip next time and we'll see what we can do."

Dejected, generally miffed and two dollars poorer, we trudge to the Admin Private to get our ICs back and proudly collect our "YOU HAVE FAILED" slips.

In the background, the PTID calls us back:
"Oh yeah, I hope you guys don't mind, but could you please fill in this survey form to let us know if you enjoyed today's session! Thanks!" *beams*

posted by crapshoot @ 1:54:00 AM